Over the past few months, I’ve come across a lot of articles and posts with life advice. I’m only 19 at the time of writing, so I know very little about life. I have no religion, no partner, no (close) friends. However, I’d like to make the right decisions when it comes to enriching my life.
I never had any mentors other than those from my previous job: Malcolm Fischer and Beraki. Hopefully the extensive experience from them and the following authors will help me get on the right track.
Many of the sentences here are quoted verbatim from their respective articles:
- 68 bits of unsolicited advice and 101 Additional Advices by Kevin Kelly
- 101 things I would tell my self from 10 years ago by Leila Clark
- lifehacks by Alexey Guzey
- The gifts of 40 by Julie Zhuo
“Advice does not give you wisdom; life gives you wisdom. If advice is ever useful, it’s only because it tidies up your messy house and helps you locate the key you’ve been searching for. Never forget: you already possess the key.”
— Julie Zhuo
On Learning
“University doesn’t teach you what you need to know, it teaches you how to learn.”
— Malcolm Fischer sitting on a SteelCase Leap V2 sipping on a lukewarm, flat Coke Zero: July 2023
For optimal learning, you need to increase your exposure to new knowledge, including conversations, blogs, books, podcasts, etc. Then, be an active listener and ask lots of questions to improve knowledge retention. Finally, to get the most out of the knowledge, try to experiment with it, try to break it down, and then extend it.
Nowhere in the learning process should you think that you are good at what you are learning. Once that thought occurs, the rate of growth slows dramatically.
When trying to gain knowledge through conversation, the most foolish thing you can do is try to hide your foolishness. Always ask stupid questions because everyone else is likely to have them. By questioning everything up front, you’re setting yourself up to be a genius later on.
You can’t know everything, but you can know how to know everything. Demonstrating your ability to learn is much more valuable than showing what you have already learned. Don’t be afraid to be wrong; if you’re right, you’re not learning. Go toward what you’re afraid of, and you’ll always find your greatest learning opportunity.
Every journey in life, whether it is your career, your relationships, your accomplishments, or your travels, masquerades as a journey to understand yourself. Assume that you have not yet tried many of the things that will impart wisdom and perspective. Therefore, any knowledge you impart will be massively wrong in some scenario; always remain humble.
On Others
Nobody is normal, so if you think someone is normal, you’re not listening well enough. Keep asking them, “Is there more?” until there is nothing more to hear. Asking them to go deeper a few times will get to the heart of their views.
If you want tactical advice, listen to someone 2-5 years ahead of you. If you want wisdom, listen to the top expert in your field. You’ll find that it’s easier to see the bias in people’s advice if you assume that what they’re telling you is really what they’re trying to tell themselves. Some advice comes from the wealthy and socially connected, despite their lack of education and talent. Consider these factors when accepting their advice.
When people criticize you, try to find the intent or truth behind their statements, no matter how constructive. Hang out with people you look up to, who are smarter than you, and who disagree with you. Don’t weaponize your honesty in criticism; your radical honesty should only benefit others.
Don’t assume people are acting maliciously; assume they are unaware of their actions or just stupid.
Recognize when an argument can’t be won by reasoning; most arguments aren’t about reasoning. If you are trying to persuade, work on your tone. People can reject ideas if they’re couched in dogma or condescension. Humility covers even the most rash blemishes.
Everyone is shy, so introduce yourself. The most connected people are the most socially rejected. It’s a numbers game: the only way to build quality connections is to have lots of connections.
To appear interesting and grow your network, be interested in others (the aura of mystery). The other way to grow your network is to help for the sake of helping. To be interested in others, be interested in yourself. If you believe your own story is interesting, you’ll believe everyone else’s story is interesting. To tell a good story, you must reveal a surprise; otherwise, it is just a report.
“You don’t seem to have much of a personality, do you Raheel?”
Friends are better than money. Your ability to do is determined more by your friends and mentor than by money. Also, you are your circle: if you have no one around you, you will not grow. Conversely, if you hang out with people you hate, you will hate yourself. The most irritating people are those who remind you of what you don’t like about yourself. If you feel introverted, it says more about your group of friends than about you as a person: get better friends. The best way to make a friend is to be a friend.
Love. There is no love without loss; to shield oneself from pain is to close oneself to joy. Hate affects the hater more than the hated. Envy is poison; joy in the success of others is bliss. It costs you nothing and increases the happiness of everyone, including yourself.
“Whoever marries Raheel must either be equally/more insane or be willing to put up with a lot.”
— Beraki to Thomas Tran: June 2024
On Creativity
When you run out of ideas, take a walk to empty your mind and then refill it with new things. Spend your time in areas with exceptional tastes to avoid making your tastes average. Create and then improve, or you wont create anything.
Jeez, that last sentence has a grammar error!
Art is in what you leave out, not what you leave in. Keep leaving things out until you’re impressed with how much you can communicate with so little.
You will be miserable if you chase money, rewards, status, or praise instead of trying to impress yourself.
On Success
Evil is everywhere, yet the world conspires for your success. Be optimistic that things will work out. Embrace disaster and failure for it will grow you instead of success. Fear being average and coasting through life instead of being a failure. You can only rise if you fall occasionally. You have to feel like a loser for a while before you can be a winner.
People who are the best in their field care about it more than anyone else, get lucky by being persistent, and do what most people fail to do: start.
The knowledge to solve practically all of the problems you encounter already exists somewhere in the world. But the vast majority of people would rather reinvent the wheel than conduct a thorough search.
On Happiness
If you have a good “why” to live for, no “how” will stop you. Fame and fortune are overrated; the goal is to gain experiences, not things. However, taking advantage of youthful invulnerability usually comes back to hurt you later.
Happiness is hard to optimize because it’s hard to measure. That’s why measurable things: money, commitment, strength, weight, etc. do not contribute to happiness.
Do not be passive in your pursuit of happiness. Say, “I choose to” instead of “I have to.”
The thing we fear most is the thing that connects us most deeply: sadness. Don’t try to cover it up with irritation, frustration, or anger. Instead, embrace the vulnerability and find the root of the sadness.
Be grateful and generous. The more you give, the more you’ll receive. Define yourself by what you love, not what you hate. There should be one thing in your life that you enjoy even though you are not good at it. Cherish it, hold on to it, and let it keep you young.
“I’m getting frickin’ old Adam.”
— Raheel on his 19th birthday, talking to Adam Tranquilla: October 2023
On Thinking
Close your eyes when you think. Meditate, introspect. Failure to understand yourself is failure to understand others. Know your past, your desires, and your regrets, and the future will become clear.
Think in decades and act in days. Ask “…and then what?” every time you make a decision. Ask “what if?” about your future rather than your past, because it’s more productive. Don’t forget your past, however, for it opens up knowledge about the future. Figure out what you should be doing in the next 2 years instead of your overarching destiny.
You’re not a bad person, so don’t force yourself to do bad things. If you ever find yourself in a rut, do the right thing. A situation should only seem black and white to you if you’re either highly stressed or lacking context, or both. Act on evidence rather than intuition, because your instincts are wrong unless the world says otherwise.
Get better at being optimistic; you’ll never meet a successful pessimist. Question everything because nothing can be fully grasped. Instead of asking, “Is this true?” ask, “In what scenario is this true?” Identify the speaker’s bias to answer this question.
Think of yourself less; don’t think less of yourself. Do not make important decisions when Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Halt when you are HALT.
On Self
“CHAIM!” [Hebrew for “life”]
— Roberto Barros addressing his colleague, Lior, from across the office: May 2024
You are what you do. If you do nothing, you are nothing. No one cares what you think, say, or believe. If you do good things, be good. Your reputation is what will be remembered, not your accomplishments.
Write your own obituary, the one you’d like to have, and then everyday work towards making it true.
“He always tried to stay positive despite all the hair he lost trying to prove to the world that he was worth something. In the end, he did. He is survived by his wife, [Wife’s Name]. Raheel’s life will serve as a guide for those who want to live each day to the fullest. It is rare to hear a bad word spoken about him; he tried to improve the lives of everyone he met.
Every day since August 21, 2020, almost 60 years ago, he kept a diary of his personal life. Instead of getting an autobiography for all his innovations in healthcare, regulation, finance, or computing, we will publish his diary so the world can see the ups and downs a magnate can go through. Here is to Raheel Danger Junaid. The world just got a little less… dangerous.”
Be humble. Part of humility is being honest about how much you owe to luck. To be great, have high expectations of yourself and low expectations of others. A good sign that you are doing the kind of work you should be doing is that you enjoy the boring parts that other people find torturous.